Concerns [ Angeli / closed ]

[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]Dear Miss Angeli

I do hope you are doing well. I know this message is somewhat out of the blue and I apologize for this, but I wanted to speak with you about this whole... unpleasant business, regarding Shin Sekai and Ringbound.

Please let me know if and when you are free to chat.

-- Walter

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rabbit abuse incoming

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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Good afternoon Walter. I hope you are well.

Is something the matter? Have I done something wrong? I apologize for my poor performance back at the invasion, or perhaps it was my inability to find that Nyaromon village that Edward tormented in hopes to patch our relation with it and it's guardian? Either way, I am deep sorry and I will try harder.

Or... am I just guessing out of the blue?

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]I'm as well as I can be, under the circumstances. The last few weeks have, truthfully, been a figurative mountain of stress for me.

But it's nothing you've done wrong- please don't apologize. It's just that... it pains me to see good people and Digimon, such as yourself, becoming entwined in such an unscrupulous group.

I'm here because Claire wishes it, nothing more than that. I suspect many Digimon partners are the same as I. But you had the freedom to decide for yourself who your company is- what I'm asking is, why did you choose to ally yourself with this crowd, Miss Angeli?

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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Good? I... I am not a good person Walter. That's why I am here... right?

Shin-Sekai and Ringbound is like a home for bad people and Digimon. I would not belong anywhere else I suppose. Every last part of my life before joining was insubstantial, and for people like master Crow or lady Claire to give me purpose to my life... I am forever in their debt.

...

I-Is that what you wanted to hear?

In truth... no no. Forget what I said. I apologize profusely.

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]Not a good person? I'm afraid I cannot believe that. You are not inherently evil, and neither is Claire, or many of the others joining this dreadful cause. This is simply a foul path, a fork in the road that many seem to have taken a wrong turn on.

Please, Miss Angeli- don't tell me what you think I want to hear. What is the truth?

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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By chance will Claire or any of the other higher ups see this?

I just don't want to say anything that would risk offending her, Iscariot or the Erudazu. You saw how Crow reacted when Leyton rudely told him that he was quitting, but then backed off that statement. If he had not died from those Scorpiomon, I doubt Crow was going to be patient enough to allow him to live much longer.

Crow is a powerful, but scary man; and Hummingbird is both equally beautiful and mighty. She wiped the floor with Kuro while he was... well you know, still alive. I hope to never see him angry with me.

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]No- thank the heavens, she's sleeping, at the moment. I'm afraid she doesn't rest well, normally.

Besides that, I can promise you nothing about this conversation will reach her or the other higher ups. This is strictly between you and I.

Frankly, just the thought of speaking to any of those others makes me anxious. Leyton was most unwise to openly make such a statement in the first place, and I entirely agree that he would have been eliminated regardless, sooner or later. Shin Sekai is... rather intolerant, of disloyalty. I feel sick to my core just thinking about what might happen to Claire if she decides to back out. As for Hummingbird, I'm very pleased to say I haven't met her in person- I'm almost happy I was a Digitama in her presence.

Please, speak freely, Miss Angeli. I'm quite sure your feelings are valid, and are quite safe with me, even from Claire.

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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That is a relief. I... I have kept a lot of things to myself due to not believing others would care tbh.

I said before that nothing about life mattered until I joined with you all... but I guess I may be just deceiving myself. What happened back then did matter to me... it mattered to me greatly. 

I am not sure if you know this, but this is actually my first life; at least as far as I know. I have no true memories beyond this one... yet I do know a surprising bit about the human world; yet ironically enough... I had to learn about my own. I frankly am not even a year old, though I suppose for a Digimon, age is merely a number.

Before I continue... Can I ask you something Walter? What's it like to have a tamer? How did you and Claire first meet?

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]Trust me, I know the feeling more than you might suspect.

I see. So, forgive my assumption, then we are among the first people you have ever known? What was your life before these groups like, if you don't mind me prying?

Of course.

Having a tamer is both exhilarating and trying. I wouldn't give it up for the world, but at the same time I find myself living in fear of anything happening to Claire- and as you may have observed, she has a love of the dangerous and life-threatening. But as I said, I would never leave her, no matter how bad things may get- when you have a tamer, you feel a connection with them in your core that seems unbreakable.

I-

I'm afraid my memory is... fuzzy, to say the least. As I'm told, a terrible battle ended up in much of my data being deleted from existence, or possibly absorbed. As a result, my memory only extends a few months back. Claire has explained a little to me, so I can only tell you what I know from her.

I had a short solo life not unlike yourself before finding Claire. Something drove me to seek her out, and instinct led me to her home. After that, we became the best of friends, and partners for life. Well, until recently- privately, I fear she may have had a... change of heart about that.

Perhaps straying down the path of darkness has driven her to behaving this way. I'm afraid I don't know why it happened, but I have little doubt that the strength of our bond will repair our relationship in time.

When you have a tamer, patience and perseverance are sometimes necessary.

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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I apologize, and no... I don't mind you getting a closer look into how I tick. I frankly have never divulged this with anyone until now, not even Kiyoshi.

I hatched under the care of a tamer. I was not his partner as he already had a set of twins, but he was a fairly nice young man. I am embarrassed to say though that I grew attached to him, treating him almost like a father. I lived with him for a few weeks, enjoying every last minute of it.

And then he disappeared without a trace.

I... I can't help but still feel betrayed. I loved him dearly, yet I have no idea as to what happened with him. I have no clue as to whether I did something that he became angry with me and left, if something horrible happened to him... or if he had ever cared about me to begin with. It hurts just thinking about it...

It was around that time I hit Rookie level and ventured to the Dark Area, that being around the time I met you all. And as to why I would go to such a foreboding world in the first place... well, I had not intended to ever dwell on the surface ever again at the time.

I am glad to see that you have so much faith in Claire, and I agree... I'm sure deep down she still cares for you greatly. The fact you are willing to stick through with this to help her is a clear sign of your bond. I-I admit, I am a bit jealous of you partner Digimon. Not for the ease of Digivolving, but for the fact that you are never alone. As long as you are together, you two will always have the other's back.

I am just... sometimes I wish I was not alone. I try hard to befriend and attach myself to the other Shin-Sekai and Ringbound, but only really Kiyoshi has returned this affection; and he's not a tamer. They either do not acknowledge me or have tried to take advantage attempts at friendship in a perverse manner.

I just don't want to ever feel alone like I did back then ever again, and honestly... Shin-Sekai and Ringbound are the only family I can afford right now.

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]Ah... I'm so sorry to hear that.

I'm afraid sometimes humans' circumstances are out of their control. We can only hope that was the case, and that no harm came to him or his twins... Although, I realize even thinking that may do little to relieve your pain, and for that I can only offer my condolences.

Yes- we'll pull through together. I'll wait as long as it takes.

Although, that does bring me to why I contacted you in the first place.

Shin Sekai, Ringbound- this is no family. While I do not think the people here are inherently evil- at least, most of them- I cannot condone finding kin with such dubious companions. There are others out there, Miss Angeli. Better company, people that will care about you. I saw what happened to Leyton during the raid, and how little reaction there was- and of course, as you say they treat you- I fear such is the nature of Shin Sekai.

You don't need to join this cause to find real companionship.

If you see a way out, or if the opportunity strikes you... I suggest you take it.

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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Walter... do you believe it is not too late for us? People like you and me? If we showed any sign of rebellion, we would be hunted down like dogs.

Even if I were to escape from this fate, I am branded essentially. Those Red Rings that Claire has given to the Ringbound... they are not just a normal ring are they? It seems to have rooted itself into my very Digicore, persisting even as I Digivolve and or degenerate. I can feel a malevolent force from this piece of jewelry on my finger, and I have several times tapped into said malevolence's power. It's like a ice pick picking away at a block of ice. It will not shatter it immediately, but given enough time; it will crack.

Do you know what frightens me Walter? That I will find someone that I care about... but one day end up unleashing that power and hurting them. You are a kind and noble soul, but I am not pure by any means.

I am unsure if you heard the reports since you had been reduced to a Digitama from your battle in the tournament, but we had some vandalizing mercenaries attack the hospital. I did take care of them... but I look back on it and realize that the thoughts I had in my mind towards them at the time were anything but good-natured. I didn't view them even as living beings, I saw them as food. Packets of data that I could consume to grow stronger.

Maybe it is for the best that I were not a tamer's partner. I've tried to ignore it, but I know for a fact I am nothing more but a monster. The only future a monster has is death or side by Shin-Sekai, and that's just the facts darling.

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]I am aware, and that is why I believe Claire has, frankly, made a huge mistake in this endeavor, though she will not allow me to speak freely about it. I'm afraid speaking to her makes her ever more resistant to my protests.

Those rings are a plague upon my existence, is what they are. A dark force at work that I haven't found a way to safely remove.

Miss Angeli, hearing that, I must implore you not to further explore the depths of this strange magic. The loss of self is far too dangerous- it makes my fur stand on end.

The influence of Dark Digivolution seems to change one's very being- the power it granted I hoped to use to protect those I care for, but my core instincts were correct- if only I'd listened - it's a horrific state to be in. I've had... similar experiences, myself.

I do not know if you will believe me, but the way you're speaking to me right now, I doubt you are past the point of no return. You are not a monster. Please, do not speak as if you are so far gone already.

I don't recommend publicly stating any intent to leave, but if you ever see a way out, do not hesitate- run for it.

-- Walter

sai of GS

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[Angeli]

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[attr=class,stat-s]Angeli

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Those rings are certainly frightening... the fact that I do not even know how Claire obtained them in the first place only further sends chills down my spine. If you truly believe they are a bane, then I was naive for having accepted one in the first place.

I had tried to harness the power of Dark Digivolution because... well, I had dismissed the side-effects of it as mere wives' tales. Plus with Claire's encouragement to use said darkness, I had not for awhile truly realized how sick and twisted it is compared. If you feel that it is a realm not worth exploring... I shall take heed and try my best to avoid it. Still, I can't help but worry that one day I will end up being tempted into doing into dabbling in such dark power once more... and perhaps never fully come back, like you said.

Walter... Thank you for being honest with me. I've kept a lot of this to myself, mostly due to not thinking anyone would care even remotely about those thoughts. It's just... I've been trying hard to befriend everyone and or get on their good sides that I felt that ever bringing that stuff to attention would be a very poor decision.

If that golden opportunity ever arises, I will try and take it. It's scary... but if you truly feel that is the best thing to do, than I will listen.

... What about you and Claire though? Crow is thinking of making her a Horsemen, is he not? What will happen to you two then if that happens?

I...I just don't want to lose more people that I have began to care about.

sai of GS

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[CLAIRE LYON]

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[attr=class,stat-s]walter

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[attr=class,body-s]It's not your fault. You couldn't have known, Miss Angeli- it is Claire that is to blame for this, and is the one that is truly naive. Her fascination with the evil magic of the Digital World has brought harm to others and herself.

You were probably right to keep quiet about such thoughts to most, but I don't intend to turn you over. If I can prevent any harm coming to those who can be saved from this, then as much as I am able, I will.

I'm relieved to hear that. Of course, I'll be doing the same as well, on top of trying to convince Claire of this mistake. It is as you say, in fact further: Crow has already made her one of the Horsemen, and I fear for her life if and when these battles intensify...

But I will not ask your assistance in taking care of me or her. I'm in a special position with Claire where I can possibly try to change her mind, even if I have to do it slowly or indirectly. I don't want you putting yourself in danger over my tamer, so please let me take care of her.

I'll get her out, somehow. No harm will come to Claire if I can help it.

Look out for yourself, Miss Angeli.

-- Walter

sai of GS

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