The one with the Scrublords (Closed)

[Haruto Mori]

"Okay guys, we need to seriously sit down and talk about this..." Trailing off a pink-haired male of averageish height looked at his trio of friends with a serious expression crossing his face. "Remember, this is life or death, with terrible consequences should you answer wrongly." He made sure that everyone knew the severity of this situation, his eyes panning from Nikumo to Naoko and back again. "Now, answer my question truthfully or suffer for eternity. The question is a thus... Who has the hottest butt in an anime of your choosing."

A smirk crossed across his visage, eyes glinting with amusement. "My money is on Asuma from Naruto or Nappa from Dragon Ball Z, buuuut since he's dead as hell, I guess I'll have to settle for Asuma." Finally losing his serious expression the male chuckled to himself, leaning back and laying comfortably on the large beanbag chair he was sitting on, the material almost absorbing his whole body like some strange creature from the nether.

In front of him, the TV was on playing an anime that he wasn't really paying much attention to since previously he was too busy looking through his phone and answering some replies from an internet site he roleplayed in. Though at the moment he was thinking of leaving and never touching that site again after having to withstand the shitty staff for so long. 'Tch, I ain't got the time to deal with a site this toxic, so long fuckers.' Closing the site tab from his phone and deleting everything about it from his phone, the pink-haired teenager felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

"Hey, have you guys seen Taiga by any chance?" Haruto wondered after a while, craning his head forward to look at the two girls and arch an eyebrow at them, his phone forgotten for a while. "I invited him to hang around with us losers but I'm unsure if he missed the invitation or forgot."

Bass...?
Nikumo Takara
@taiga

[Deleted]

"...Did you just..." of course he did. The just-one-centimeter taller-than-the-pinket Taiga just opened the door rather silently, probably because that was a repeated habit of his, to appear unannounced at the strangest thing possible---mainly, coming from the balcony instead of coming from the front door. Secondly, he came when they're talking about ass. Ass of all thing. Let's admit it, while he does watch anime, most of it are forced on him by these sunnova. "Had you saw your phone I told you I got held up by my aunt. She wanted me to help cleaning around the house... oh wait, I forgot to click send."

Taiga entered the room and tossed a small bottle of coke at Haruto. "Up to which gender. Also, Asuma is also dead as fuck, so you're contradicting yourself, Haruto."

Unceremoniously, the boy tossed what else he brought to the table and sank on one of the sofa. Speaking of which, it's seem to be junk food. "Today's not the gain day," he joked as if trying to explain himself. Wiggling his eyebrows at a certain childhood friend, he opened his mouth again. "Sup Naoko? Fancy seeing you fine being pulled in this kind of situation. Aren't you more of baps specialist? ...Anyway, money's on Yume from Grimgal. That tush and added with that personality is just my thing. Well, that if it's a girl. If it's a boy then I guess... huh, come to think of it, they rarely shows butt for males unless it's some yaoi or shonen-ai anime. Oh well, my taste is different from Haruto and his dadda, so I guess my vote goes to... huh, I guess there's none for now."

[Nikumo Takara]

Nikumo sneered at the pink-haired man's seemingly important question, she rolling her eyes at him. "Oh my god Haruto. You are such a yiffy piece of shit." She'd smirk slightly at him, glancing at Naoko partially as well. Obviously, there was no actual anger in her voice... this was normal for them to act like this. Here, they were all equally trashy. The short-haired girl glanced at the door to the room as she heard it crack open, waving a hand at the other male in their little group. "Yo Taiga! Welcome to the trash pit!" She'd say, tossing him a candy bar as he sat down. "Aw hush Taiga. You and Haruto are freaking toned manlets. A lil' junk food won't hurt." The girl would say as she unwrapped a Twinkie, taking a bite out of the pastry. She was thankful she had a high metabolism, for she had the eating habits of someone who only had a year to live.

"Back to your question Haruto. Frankly, all the Saiyans were in tights, so that kinda contributes to a little something I like to call the "ass ratio". Besides, too bara-y. 99 percent of that ass is muscle." She shrugged slightly. It wasn't that she hated bara, hell the girl had a folder on laptop just for it... but she had to admit, her tastes were all around the place. One could spend years studying her fetishes and only get to the tip of the iceberg. "And frankly to say, I've ascended beyond the mere idea of ass, male or female. You can't just love one butt without loving them all." The rather boyish-girl would say, shrugging slightly as she took a sip from her off-brand generic cola. "Not going to lie though. Like Naoko, kinda a baps person too. Frankly, if she had a decent pair, I'd totally just get up and ravish them." She'd say shamelessly, gripping a pair of non-existant mammaries in the air.

[Bass...?]

"...You...cannot be serious." Naoko said, the girl having been paying attention to the anime before Haruto had to nab it away with that...question. The hottest butt? Why should she even answer that truthfully? The definition of that can seriously vary from man to woman to man again. With a pinch of the bridge of her nose, she decided to bite. "Well, since you said truthfully...Hinata or get out of here with that bara garbage. Also, Taiga's right there." She'd point at the young man making his entrance. "Also, that sounds like a load of nonsense to me, Taiga...You just forgot we were even gonna meet here, am I right?" She probably wasn't.

It was also here that she found herself agreeing with Nikumo. This was a trash pit. And then the baps comment came up. "..." Naoko groaned lowly, visibly cringing at Nikumo's...Ugh.

"...What did I do to end up here?"

[Haruto Mori]

"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear!" Haruto said jovially with a smirk crossing his face, a small chuckle escaping him when he finally knew the reason why Taiga hasn't called yet, not that he would have even realized that he got a message since he normally muted his phone and even turned the vibration off when he wanted a quiet moment to read something on his phone; that and spams were the absolute worst in the world to deal with.

Watching the red-headed male with almost lazy eyes, the pink-haired male gave out a small grunt of pain when the small bottle was dumped right on his chest. "Rude." Haruto intoned under his breath, rubbing the slightly smarting area with a hand before twisting the cap of the bottle open and taking a hearty sip from it. "Ah. That's the stuff. Thanks, Taiga." The seventeen-year-old fluttered his eyelashes at Taiga in a mocking display of flirting-plus-teasing. "You always know what to do to make my heart go aflutter." Even he had to snort, and loudly, at the very bad attempt at flirting, he was making. 

Though the mood was quickly soured by Taiga's comment, sending the male a slight frown of displeasure along with a roll of his eyes. "Oh come off it, Taiga. I'm trying not to remember that stupid ass episode." Waving a hand dismissively the male turned to the others, hiding his amusement at Taiga's conversation with Naoko. "And you damn well know I am, Nikumo." He pointed a finger accusingly at the girl. "And don't you dare deny that such claim can also be leveled at you, you trash." Though that word, manlet made him roll his eyes at her. "I'm not a manlet, my muscles are distributed proportionally to my frame, I'm not overcompensating for something. Besides it's not my fault some of you are fucking giants, thank you very much." Huffing and crossing his arms over his chest, the male looking aside sharply, though he slowly looked back at both at Nikumo and Naoko for their plebian comments. "Why am I friends with you all again?" Dragging a hand down his face and pinching the bridge of his nose in mock exasperation he fixed a deadpan stare at Naoko. "You decided to live next door with us and the rest is history."

Sighing through his nose the male reached a hand across the table and grabbed a bag of Doritos. "We're a bunch of losers, but we all know I'm the Lord of this castle." Eating a few of the crusty orange chips, the male powered down his phone and pocketed it inside the duffel bag laying on the floor beside the bean bag chair.

[Deleted]

Taiga chuckled at the comment about the devil. "Sexy devil?" he joked after catching the pastry tossed by Nikumo. "Ey, Nikky, I might be vertically challenged, but I'm not like this dude over here. I'm horizontally gifted."

Haruto's fake flirt is something he considered 'too lame to even get a passing grade, but he really want to tease his friend... ah, right, isn't it clear already? He swings both way. Taiga's strong arm suddenly shot out to pin Haruto down. He inches his face closer to his ears and whispered a quick line "Are your heart beating even stronger now, Hal? 'cuz you know I'd love to dance to that beats. Just forget that anime and probably... treat me to a dinner? My wallet is crying~"

YEEES, a mood killer on the last part, as cliche as it sounds, always enough to tell anyone that he's joking. Taiga awaited for his friends' reaction, hoping that somehow they would give him what he wanted.

"Ass ratio you say... I'd say that you're right, but hey, anime's ass is better than real life ass. I mean, have you see those buff guys showing their ass muscles? That's what I call 99% muscle ass. Those asses like those Saiyan looks like it still got decent amount of fat, the best kind. I truthfully doesn't like muscly ass like that. Ass, you know, unlike pecs, must be filled with nice amount of fat. Meanwhile, boobs, the best is the flat kind because it won't get soggy! Well, the type that I can grope with one hand is good, too...

And you know, Naoko, I'll just say the ultimate truth of the world: those with small baps often have the best ass! And no I didn't... or better, I can't forget. Who among you guys can cook in this room? If you said 'we can live with junk food', I'll seriously kill you guys. Be grateful you scrublords got me!"

[Nikumo Takara]

Nikumo made a wretching sound, covering her mouth as faked vomitting in response to Haruto's shameless and very poor attempt at flirting. Obviously, it was in a joking manner, their little group used to each another acting generally perverted and or douchey. It was all in good fun though of course. "Haruto please. Those VNs say some CRAZY shit... Last thing I need is you to go all lovey-dovey on us shits." She'd say, rolling her eyes slightly. She snorted as the two males in the room attempted to defend her little comment about them being short, but there was no way in hell it was a good defense. After all, both she and Haruto stood least half a foot taller than them... actually hell, she stood a head taller than Haruto and Taiga. Admittingly she was the oldest, but that's a moot point. "Or you dudes are just freaking shorties. That's probably also a potential idea."

Nikumo awkwardly chuckled at Naoko's response to their general weirdness, she blushing slightly from embarassment. It was easy to tell that out of the four of them, Naoko was likely the most sane of the bunch, she not as boisterous as her companions. "Sorry Naoko. Too lewd huh? You know that none of us would ever actually do shit like that." The tall, but flat girl would apologize, wanting to make sure there was no bad blood between any of them. "Besides, it's not like you are a saint. I've bloody well have seen your writing girl, so don't go thinking your an angel dude." She winked mischeviously, snickering to herself some, referring to the youngest member of their little cliche of friends. It was all in good jest of course, the tomboy never intending to annoy her friends maliciously.

After that little initial chit-chat amongst themselves, Nikumo decided to spring the question. She actually had been saving this question for when everyone else was here, so she was excited to finally get to talk about it. "Say, guys? So can I ask ya'll something? You guys remember those lil' toys that are like a virtual pet? I think they are like called a "Tamagotchi" or something?" The girl pulled a laptop case that she had off to the side of her seat, opening a small pocket on it and pulling out what looked a little black electronic toy with a wrist-strap, showing it off to everyone. "I found this lil' doohickey a bit ago on my desk. Honestly, no bloody idea how it got there... But kinda neat huh? I can't seem to get it to work though... like there isn't a case which I can like unscrew or something to change the batteries. You guys got any ideas?"

[Bass...?]

Okay, first of all, she didn't have any say in moving here. "...Shut up, you midget..." She said, frowning at Haruto's comment. That rustled her, clearly. Buuuuut not as much as the flirting. "...Get a room, you two. Seriously."

This was kind of the worst time for Haruto and Taiga being cheesy. "Horizontally gifted, more like you're a fatso." Naoko added, snickering at her own bad comment. Of course, when Taiga mentioned she probably had the best...well, behind. To put it bluntly, she frowned AGAIN. "Okay, that's just shameful. Are you seriously that desperate or something?" This really was too lewd.

Naoko then found herself blushing as though she were trying to cosplay as a tomato from Nikumo mentioning her writings. "...S-Shut up." She restated in a much more blunt tone, though she quickly quieted down as Nikumo presented...A dumb-looking device that indeed, resembled a Tamagotchi. "...I'm not going to lie, that looks like a bootleg Tamagotchi indeed...Doesn't even have a place for batteries? What use does it have, then?"

[Haruto Mori]

When Taiga swooped in for what seemed to almost be a kiss, the pink-haired teen almost choked on his tongue, a hot blush working across his cheeks and illuminating his face, but then came the final comment and whatever "moment" they had vanished fast into the horizon. Bitch face number eleven was in full play as he side-eyed Taiga. "Okay, first of all, rude."

Rolling his eyes the male threw the muscled teen an amused look next. "We can live with junk food." Haruto parroted to mess with Taiga just a little bit, before everyone suddenly started to roast on him, earning a "tch" sound in mock-annoyance. "You guys are total losers. I don't know why I hang out with you guys all the damn time." He chuckled softly, obviously teasing them for a change, though Nikumo's sudden question caught him off guard a little. "You mean those small-ass screens where you could get a virtual pet and feed them and shit?"

Attention riveted on Nikumo the male forgot entirely about the conversations he was having before with the others. "Yeah, that does look like one of those small devices from long ago, do they still make that stuff?" He wondered who would be crazy enough to want that small device and play with it, perhaps parents introducing their children to their old technology or just some wacko collector wanting one to keep it for themselves? "Does it have something to plug it on or what? Perhaps it charges batteries while in contact with the sunlight?"

[Deleted]

"Screw you and your junk food," he commented, but grinning ear to ear. "You should eat what this guy could cook. Better than those fast but nutritionally unbalanced diet and not to mention going to cost you some hefty sum. If you're really pinching for penny--guess not, you guys are fucking rich, aren't you?"

Taiga is probably the one who need to penny pinch most among them, having to do part time job and all. While his aunt always told him to not hold back, he just can't. Family or not, he don't want to be some sort of parasite when his aunt too already have two kids of her own (who treated him like a big brother) and need to pay for three of them at the same time... yeah, not happening.

"Fat? Girl, to someone who got body fat of 3%, what fat is it that you talked about? Desperate? Oh please. I don't need the pleasure at all. I just need someone who can understand me very well. What's the use of one night stand? Idiotic I say. I'd rather do something else."

Though luckily Nikumo managed to steer the conversation clear before Taiga managed to say something more than NSFW.

"....Oh, how funny, I got one, too. I thought it belonged to one of my cousin before I remembered the age. I didn't bring it, though. Too bad huh? I tried to use it, but it's still dead for some reason. I don't want to toss it away, though... maybe it's just something they gave me because they felt guilty not giving me anything for my birthday," he shrugged at that point. "Should I fetch it?"